First responders like police officers, firefighters, and paramedics are everyday heroes. They help people during emergencies, keep our communities safe, and often put their lives at risk. But behind the badge or uniform, they carry invisible scars. On episode 31 of the “When The Call Hits Home” podcast, Gary Jarboe, a retired police sergeant and Marine veteran, opened up about his personal journey and the mental health challenges first responders face. His story shows why we have to break the First Responder Mental Health Stigma.

The Hidden Struggles of First Responders

First responders see and experience things that most people never do. From crime scenes and accidents to losing friends in the line of duty, these events can leave lasting impacts. Yet, for years, there has been a strong stigma—or shame—around talking about mental health in these jobs.

Gary explained on the podcast that when he started his career, no one really talked about mental health. There was an employee program for help, but hardly anyone used it because they worried it would make them look weak, or that others would judge them. “You don’t bear your soul to anybody,” he said. Many first responders feel they have to bottle up their feelings, even from their own families.

How Stigma Hurts More Than Helps

So, why is the first responder mental health stigma so harmful? Gary shared that this stigma made it hard for him to open up, at work and at home. He was taught to be “hard-headed” and tough, first as a Marine and then as a police officer. While this attitude helped him get through tough times, it also kept him from sharing his struggles, sometimes even with his wife and sons.

The result? Problems and feelings built up over the years, until they felt overwhelming. “We paid a price for it, really,” Gary said, talking about how keeping things inside affected his family relationships.

The Power of Opening Up and Asking for Help

But things can change. Gary discovered a program for first responders (called PCIS) that encouraged him to talk about his experiences, even after he retired. Even though it was scary at first, he realized how helpful it was to share his story with mental health professionals and people who understood what he’d been through. It also helped him connect more deeply with his wife and begin to heal old wounds.

Gary’s message was clear: It’s never too late to seek help. Being open about feelings and mental health doesn’t make someone weak – it makes them strong. “Don’t hold back like I did,” he advised younger first responders. Healing can start with a simple conversation.

Supporting First Responders and Their Families

Families play a huge role in the healing journey. Gary explained that after he talked with his wife about his struggles, their communication improved, and they grew even closer. For other families, being open, honest, and ready to listen is just as important for healing as professional help.

If someone’s first experience with a therapist doesn’t feel right, it’s also okay to try again. Finding a counselor who understands first responders can make a big difference.

Let’s End the Stigma Together

Mental health should not be a secret. First responders need our support, both during their careers and after they retire. By speaking out like Gary did, we can all help end the First Responder Mental Health Stigma. Let’s create a world where asking for help is normal, families are stronger, and everyone gets the support they need to heal.

If you or someone you know is struggling, remember: it’s always okay to reach out, talk, and ask for help. Healing is possible, one honest conversation at a time.

If you would like to explore our resources page or other episodes